Half Stress, Half Chill

Here is a picture of a turtle for your enjoyment. 

I'm behind on my Goodreads challenge. 

I haven't been training with my puppy. 

My room is in a constant state of looking like a tornado went through it. 

I've eaten corndogs for my work lunch for two weeks 'cause I'm too lazy to make better lunches. 

I haven't posted much of anything on social media lately. 

I haven't prepped anything f or my vacation next week. 

I haven't written anything for months. 

I have a whole pile of letters that need replys.

I haven't used my camera in weeks. 

I've read some epic books lately. 

My dog still loves cuddling me. 

I actually managed to clean my room today. 

Corndogs are epic. Especially with ranch dressing. 

I haven't really missed posting too much. 

I get to go on vacation!!

I'm sure writing will continue eventually.

People are really patient waiting for letters.

I'll take photos again soon. 

I've been feeling the pull of two different sides of life lately so much lately. I'm half chill, and half stress at this point, but the two things do not like to coincide. This results in a lot of nights staying up until midnight watching movies, then getting up early to get to work on time, and falling asleep on the couch when I get home. I proceed to get up, work on my own stuff, and then repeat the whole process. Not a terrible way to spend time, but I am hoping to learn a bit more balanced. 

This post doesn't have some great deep meaning. I'm excited because I'll be going on vacation next week and so I'm going to seize the time and take a break from social media. I'm trying to work on some better habits, but also learning to let go of some of my expectations. 

How are you doing? 

Autumn Smiles

This is kind of a continuation of my post 35 smiles except the Autumn edition. Not all of the things are really fall-ish, but they're what I'm thankful for right now.

Pumpkins

Morning tea

Reading on the porch swing 

Open windows 

Leaves crunching underfoot 

Cute sweaters 

Socks 

Pumpkin scented candles 

All the red and orange 

Only two months until Christmas

Baking 

Fall break 

Lego’s

Mini photos 

New stickers 

Sale’s on binders 

Bike rides

Stargazing 

Kitten cuddles 

Curling up under blankets

Fall movies 

Planning trips 

Journaling at night 

Watching sunrises 

Haybales 

Going to bible study 

Kids tackle hugs 

Midnight Masquerade (the movie)

Golden hour 

Fluffy clouds 

Burning sunsets 

The deck being cold in the morning 

Family meetings 

Spontaneous board games 

Gold sharpies 

Sketching late at night

Happy Together by The Turtles 

What's one of your favorite parts of fall? 

S I L E N T

The ink jar is full 

Ready to form words 

Ready to go on the page 

But I can’t do it 

I’m out of words 

I’m empty 

I’ve stayed silent so long 

The words were suppressed 

And then they disappeared 

And I don’t know where to look 

For so long in my life 

I wrote every time I hurt 

I bled onto the pages 

And now the wound is still there

But it doesn’t bleed

It just festers 

And I can’t help it anymore 

I feel trapped inside myself 

Unable to let it all out 

So I hide 

Unable to deal with it all 

But I don’t think that's helping 

I think I’m making it worse

September Highlights

Wow, so September was packed. I felt like it was really the beginning of getting back to normal as I worked, and got to go to real events. But also it was the end of summer, of lots of free time, and held some kind of hard stuff. 

So at the beginning of the month, I was working four days a week. Not gonna lie, that had me pretty stressed. I felt like I was running back and forth to work every day, plus trying to fit in other events. I'm not super good at time management. =P Well, about three weeks into the month... I was let go from my main job. The people I had been babysitting for no longer needed me. So yeah, I'm going to be home a lot more. It's kind of a mixed blessing. I'm glad I no longer have all that stress, but I kind of did like having the paycheck. XD 

One day at work it started raining. In Texas summer this is a big thing, so me and all the kids ran outside. We got soaked and it was a blast. The only thing that wasn't was drinking home wet. ;) 

A lot of times after work this month I met up with family for shopping, or dinners, which was pretty fun. =) 

We had our last day at the water park which felt to me like the end of summer. 

We had smores for no other reason then that we had the stuff for them. 

I did my first scavenger hunt, which was epic!! Our zoo hosted it. We had to find information, take pictures, do videos, and it really was a blast. We got an otter snuggly for participated, which was great! 

My sister Rebekkah and I at the zoo.

My bible study I attended started up again, and we met in the park to just get to know each other. We played Scattergories and 20 questions. It was awesome to meet up with them, even from six feet apart. <3 

A teacher of mine from co-op passed away mid-month. He was an absolutely amazing guy, and I wrote a post about him here. His was the fourth funeral I've ever gone to.

I realized I hadn't cleaned my SD cards off since March. O.o So suddenly deciding it must be done right away, I stayed up till midnight one night cleaning them off and going through the photos. It was worth it. ;) 

I joined my young adult's group in helping a family from our church move. It was a lot of work, but super fun. I hadn't gotten the chance to haul boxes and just hang out with my young adults group in a long time. We worked really hard, ate a lot of pizza, and just had a blast. 

I got to virtually watch High School Musical two with my friend Micaiah. <3 It is surprising how relevant that movie is. 

Yeah, I read a whopping six books. But I enjoyed all of them! A Portrait of Loyalty was my favorite. <3

What a Year Stories by Firefly 

Stars and Sparklers A Farm Girls Life 

Words and Life Once Upon a Ordinary 

Emojis, Photos, and a Surprise Ellens Musings 

Star Trek: Exploring Emotion The Destiny of One 

So yeah, this was not my best month, but there were definitely some awesome points! Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? 

G O O D B Y E

I woke up this morning 

To find you were gone

And I never had the chance 

To say thank you 

So it may be a little late 

But here goes 

Thank you for being my teacher 

For being so patient with me 

Thank you for always making time 

For giving me hugs whenever I needed

For giving of your time sacrificially 

Thank you for being so positive

And for making everyone feel loved 

Thank you for being like a second dad 

To me and everyone at our co-op

I never had the chance to tell you in person 

But I know you wouldn’t be mad 

I look forward to telling you in person 

What an impact you made on me 

But until then I’m going to miss you 

Goodbye

Until we meet again 

In memory of Doug Dedger

We’ll miss you